9-11-01 Rememberance

Today, we had a memorial service for the men and women who were killed on 9-11-01.

The Chief asked officers to read portions of "Report from Ground Zero", a book that compiles the stories of various firefighters who told their 9/11 stories and the stories of the cleanup work afterwards.

He then asked one of the senior firefighters in the department to read the names of all firefighters who were killed in the attacks. Reading 343 names takes a while and the entire time, I was thinking to myself, "Would I? Would I have gone up when everyone else was going down?" It's hard to answer that question today as a new firefighter and a father of two little boys. Could I leave my boys without a father and Sarah without a husband trying to save the lives of strangers?

I don't know the answer to that question and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I do know that those who died didn't plan on dying that day. I guess not knowing the answer means simply living one day at a time. I know it's trite but that's the only answer I can think of that provides any comfort.

At the end of the name-reading, the senior firefighter presented the department with a heavy steel cross welded together from the remnants of the World Trade Center. In the middle, the number 343 represents all the firefighters who died.

Not much I can say after that.